So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
