HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
