Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
