i wish peter jackson would direct porn
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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