Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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