Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
