Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
