Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
