Please, let me fuck your mom
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
