last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
