Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
