You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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