Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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