I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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