Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
