I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
