were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
