Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
