Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
