My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
