That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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