just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
