Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
how does that bad decision feel?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
