I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Can Purell be used as lube?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
