My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
