I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
