thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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