im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
