I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
