i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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