nutella sex= disaster
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Never underestimate the power of titties
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
