ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize