How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
