quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
