this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Randomize
