she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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