He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I didn't notice because vodka
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
