I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
