Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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