two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
