Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Randomize
