Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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