Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
