Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I came so hard my ears popped.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
