lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
vagina is talking i cant
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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