I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
