If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
