Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
