How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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