Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning

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(509): View more from Washington

This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.

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(585): View more from New York

I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?

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(708): View more from Illinois

Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.

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(815): View more from Illinois

I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...

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(845): View more from New York

I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age

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(631): View more from New York

Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?

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