I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
