can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Damn victory sex feels great
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
