the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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