i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
