Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize