I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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