Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize