Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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