the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
