A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
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